How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Randomize
