yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
