At least make sure they are 18
Why
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
