He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
