I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
