Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
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