Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Randomize
