Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Life without a bra equals bliss.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You don't make any sense
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