i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
