Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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