it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
