I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
