I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize