is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
