I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize
