i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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