girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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