hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
