they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
