I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
