I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
