We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
