he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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