I can't watch pbs sober anymore
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Randomize
