his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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