this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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