how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
