i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
