you guys were way drunker than both of me
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize