Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
