if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
