why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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