We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Randomize
