So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
