i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
