Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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