oh god the rape fog is back!
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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