There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Your dad touched me again.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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