you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
