Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
