I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
