Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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