Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I lost the right to judge tonight
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
