Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
