I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
