i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
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