The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
