he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
