her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
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