I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
i now understand why vodka
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
