You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
