I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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