Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
